What are You Waiting For?
“Wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.” – Toni Morrison
The new year brings a renewed sense of possibilities, growth, hopes, and dreams, but often, to achieve those aspirational goals, we must let go of the shit that is holding us back. I am intrigued by the time and energy we put into tenderly nurturing our old wounds and resentments rather than doing the work to let them go. And we wonder why we continue to stay stuck, unable to embrace our potential and move forward! It’s hard to reach for the stars when we remain weighed down by a bag full of shame, regret, and guilt that we insist on carrying with us.
Why do we do it? What do we gain?
There is fear in letting go of the familiar. Most of us relish what we know, even when it’s painful. We find comfort in our anger and blame, even as they feed old wounds, keeping them open and alive. We justify wallowing in the solace of our victimhood rather than letting go of old narratives so we can move forward. Does it really matter what someone has done to us if holding on to that story is hurting us? Refusing to release past pains weighs us down and keeps us trapped.
Eckhart Tolle says, “There is a fine balance between honoring the past and losing yourself in it. You can acknowledge and learn from the mistakes you made and then move on. It’s called forgiving yourself.”
Clinging to past stories is like binge watching a depressing movie over and over. The more we watch, the more we become numb to the traumas, violence, and emotions we are witnessing on the screen. Languishing in our personal history, we often allow others to define our story rather than embrace the present and design a new script that is true to who we are. Now is the time to make peace with the past and make space for the new you…or, I would argue, the real you! There’s incredible power in rooting ourselves in the present.
You may not get a do-over on an unhealthy relationship or undo the pain of a broken heart, but you can acknowledge your part in the story and learn from it. You can’t go back in time and fix your childhood, relive those awful teen years, or change the perceived mistakes you made along the way, but you can cut your past self some slack and recognize that the “present you” is older and hopefully wiser. Sure, your past experiences will shape you, but only you decide which lessons will accompany you into the present and define who you are today.
Think of your mind as a muscle that can be challenged and trained. You have the capacity to tackle the fears that have kept you from living your best life and to challenge yourself to live in the moment rather than dwelling in the past. Your mind has a way of rising to the occasion, so be brave and push it to take on new challenges. Your personal growth depends on your willingness to step into uncharted territory and embrace new activities and ideas that may not feel comfortable in the beginning.
Last year a friend gave me her piano and I decided to teach myself to play. I had a loose knowledge of reading music from singing in choirs, but it did not take me to the treble clef or moving my hands in sync. The piano’s bench was full of music books including “The Early Beginner – Book 1”. So, I started at the beginning. A year and a half later, I can use both hands to play some rudimentary Christmas Carols and Disney songs…just for my pleasure (and the entertainment of my kids and grandkids). For me, this checked the box for trying a new activity and pushing myself to “play”. All of us can receive the rewards of this exercise, just by being open and curious about the unfamiliar.
Be Mindful
People often wonder what is meant by “mindfulness”. Simply put, living mindfully means insisting on staying in the present – rather than dwelling on the past or projecting into the future. This takes discipline and consistency of thought. Choose to cultivate your awareness by listening and paying attention to the present moment. Embrace the sensations, sounds, colors, and words around you. Learn to love the gift of being alone in silence. Open yourself up to a new hobby or other challenge and let yourself be curious, non-judgmental, and kind.
Is this the year you will choose to let go of that bag of burdens that you’ve been hauling around and make room for the new you? What are you waiting for?
What is Life Coaching?
Coaching is a forward-looking approach to healing and growth. I create a non-judgement space for you to gain confidence, shatter your negative limiting beliefs, implement goals, and start living in a place of peace and abundance. Are you willing to get uncomfortable, challenge your comfort zone, and take steps to reclaim control of your life?
How to work with me:
I am accepting 1:1 clients. If you are ready to take the next step in your journey, book a free call today
Please share this Blog with anyone you think might benefit from this message.